Monthly Archives: September 2016

The beginning of one of my reoccurring fantasies

It’s late in the evening, and I’m walking with two of my lovers as the light, balmy breeze blows my hair. I look up and feel deeply connected to the moon and breathe it into my being. As we walk, I give one of my lovers a gentle hug, and then I lean sweetly into the other with an affectionate nudge. They tell me how gorgeous I look and how sexy I am in my flowy dress that cuts up my leg perfectly and makes me look like a true Goddess. Then my one lover stops and caresses the side of my face and leans over to plant a soft kiss on my lips as he puts his hands on my waist. My other lover comes up behind me and begins kissing my neck and then reaches around to tease my breasts through my dress. I lean back into the tender kisses and hear soft whispers in my ear, “Do you trust me?” I quickly nod my acknowledgment, but a shutter of nervous anticipation enters my stomach as a blindfold is quickly thrust over my eyes and securely fastened. My lovers take my hands and lead me forward as they tease with questions and scenarios they could be leading me too. We become silent except for the directions to ensure my safety and the quick pounding of my own heart up against my chest as I wonder what is about to happen. I hear a door opening and the deadly silence of an empty room. I receive soft kisses and feel teasing fingers slide my dress from my body. My soft lovers suddenly become more forceful as I am pushed onto my knees, and a cock is thrust into my mouth. My hair is grasped tightly by the lover behind me. I am egged on by the moans and demands that are escaping my lover’s lips as the other lover talks to me in sexy, low tones. Then I am lifted from my knees and shoved on a bed as my lovers simultaneously tie my wrists above my head…

Let’s just say I get exquisitely ravaged after that in a million different ways!

That is the beginning of one of my reoccurring fantasies. I will let you fill in the bits after that for yourself, but I promise you that it gets very steamy! Sometimes it’s slightly different; the people change, the exact setting changes, but it’s always arousing.

Most of us see fantasy as just an occasional fun pastime but don’t think about the importance of fantasy in our sexing and lives as a whole. I believe in mindfulness and that many of us walk around in a fog that creates an overall unhappiness. We do not recognize all the wonderful little things we are presented with each day by the universe. One research study by the University of Southern California found that we spend 1/3-1/2 of our waking hours in some form of a daydream. It’s crucial that we begin to live more in the moment and less in past and future.

That being said, it is just as crucial to take the time for fantasy because fantasy is imperative for our creativity, for manifesting our lives, for our personal development, and, more notably, for our sex lives. Fantasies are a form of self-love in that they provide pleasure and joy without the need for another, which is also an act of confidence, sexual acceptance, and empowerment.

Fantasies serve many different purposes throughout our sexual development. As young children, our fantasies looks more like dreaming about how that boy/girl will kiss us or imagining a romantic scene where we ask him/her to share a PB&J in the cafeteria, and there is that magic connection. As we get into our adolescence and hormones start raging, the fantasies usually expand into more directly sexual situations. This is when you start imaging what the “first time” will be like and the beauty of undressing your boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time. It brings a thrill that usually leads to more self-exploration. Our fantasies continue on as we age and will often include different elements that are important at that time of a person’s life. For example, when I was a teenager, I would fantasize and really focus on bringing kissing into the fantasy. Now, kissing comes into play, but there are other aspects I find enjoyable to create in my fantasy such as a certain level of sex talk or eye connection. From a psychological perspective, we often have themes in our fantasies that can give us huge clues into what areas we need to expand and where our boundaries lie.

The Orgasmic Fires

I receive the text message long before we are even supposed to meet… he is excited to see me and thinking about the upcoming meeting. I’m getting turned on mentally in that moment, and slowly, anticipation starts to build. By the time I arrive at our meeting place I have passed arousal and made it to a sense of nervousness. I barely know this man, and in the past we have only shared a few hot kisses. We begin the evening with a luxurious glass of wine, sitting on the floor and casually talking about our days. The whole time he is looking deep into my eyes and continues to make comments on how beautiful I am, how my hair and skin are so soft, etc. I begin to get lost in the trance he is creating around me. I find it hard to turn my thoughts into words and will my brain to work as I tell him how much I am enjoying his presence. We sit and begin doing some breathing exercises, and all he does is stroke my arm and goose bumps cover my entire body. He requests to undress me and instead of jumping straight to pulling off my jeans and t-shirt he slowly kisses and caresses every inch of my body as his hands ever so slowly inch my clothes off. He does so with great skill, and the whole time he’s whispering sweet words into my ear, breathing softly across my skin, and allowing me to look deep into his beautiful brown eyes. He steps back and admires my body and suddenly I feel like a 16-year-old virgin who has never let a boy look at her naked body… and boy am I turned on. I reciprocate and spend some time teasing and worshipping his body as I begin undressing him. I can see he is also turned on and electricity crackles through the air. We have barely touched naked skin yet we are both on fire!


This evening was magnificent and we continued worshipping each other. Though without my partner stoking the orgasmic fires, the evening would not have been quite so hot and steamy. One of the areas in regards to my sexual practices that I always have to keep coming back to is constantly practicing surrender and allowing the chatter in my head to fall away. This is a much harder job if a person is attempting to have sex only “half warm”. As my lovers caress not only my lips, hair, and sides but also my heart and mind, I am able to fall into the sensation. I fall into a tantric trance.

In todays’ world we are busy people and so in attempt to get everything done we never truly do anything with our whole attention. This goes for our sexual encounters as well…. It has become drive-through sex. Yes, occasionally you only have time for a quickie because the kids are screaming, the phone is ringing, and dammit you still have to finish up that project from work. However even in that situation there are ways to turn that quickie from a “nice release” to a “hot little romp”.

Both sexes need to stoke their orgasmic energy prior to intercourse but often for different reasons. Women take an average of 20minutes to become aroused and to be ready to have an orgasm. Women need to truly be able to take the time to drop fully into their bodies, which includes being able to get out of their heads. They need to feel that their partners are with them and that the energetic connection is present. The pussy intuitively knows when something is missing from this equation and so often will not fully open. This is where the sex is not satisfying or creates physical damage to the woman’s body. Men, on the other hand, have an easier time getting aroused and from a young age are conditioned to be more in tune with their genitals. However, in order for men to experience a full body orgasm that lasts for an extended amount of time and not simply have a sharp 30 second party, they also need time to build the kundalini energy all the way up the spine from the root chakra. Foreplay is important for the male body, most especially if the man is having problems with premature ejaculation, difficulty ejaculating, difficulty connecting emotionally with his partner, or if the man is experiencing quick/short orgasms. It is also worth mentioning that when the female energy is awakened, she is going to pull incredibly strong energy up in the male, and so their combined orgasms are going to be stronger.