The Energetic and Dangers when you are dating

We learn early on that that sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies and STD/STIs. Schools do a wonderful job at scaring us from having sex when we’re younger by showing us images of genitals infected with diseases, the negative effects of an unwanted pregnancy, and the staggering statistics about both. I am an advocate for engaging in safe sexual practices and think it’s essential in a healthy adult relationship and as a responsible individual. One surefire way to kill any sex life or relationship is to get an incurable STD. However, what we don’t learn about as children is the other ways in which sex can be dangerous…. or amazing!

Throughout our lives, every sexual experience and every interaction builds on the next to become the filter through which we approach our lives. When we enter into a sexual relationship, we bring with us the energy of every other sexual experience we have lived previously. So if you haven’t processed or done your work around your sexuality and relationships, then you’re bringing those positive and negative energies into your new experiences.

The truth is, whether we want to acknowledge it or not, sex connects us. Yes, even one-night stands and side flings connect and change us. You are merging energy and allowing another person to engage with your most powerful energy: your sexual energy, or kundalini. Think about a heterosexual encounter, where the man is inserting his penis into a woman’s vagina. What is not seen, but what all tantra experts are aware of, is that there is an energy exchange happening in this moment. This builds a connection, as one person integrates a piece of their energy into the other’s being. Lets not forget that while all this energy is melding, our brains are also releasing oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. This is the hormone for women that creates a bond, but is also the reason why you feel so sensual after good sex.

This bonding makes any relationship stronger and deeper. Whatever that relationship has been, adding sex adds a new layer to the relationship and creates a connection. This goes for one-night stands, long-term relationships, rapes, etc. You have just built an energetic cord to that other person. This is when sex can become messy, because these connections affect how the relationship functions, for better or worse.

This energy exchange and chemical bonding can be amazing and help us to grow and expand as individuals and couples. But it can also cause unforeseen difficulties. As I said earlier, if someone hasn’t been doing their sexual work and clearing their entire systems, then you could unwittingly take on years of their negative energy if you’re not careful. Also, if we become who we have sex with, then it is important that we make sure we want to take a little piece of that other person into our being.

I can remember dating a guy who was very sweet. We got along, had great conversations and were pretty compatible… until we began playing sexually. All of a sudden, after every sexual encounter I would find myself feeling nauseous. This had never happened previously, and so after checking in with myself I realized that I was taking in a piece of this man’s energy that was not jiving with my system. As soon as I broke off the relationship, I stopped having this reaction after sex. It was my body telling me that our energies were incompatible. It was also alerting me to the underlying energy that I had been overlooking in our daily interactions.